Best is a harsh word. I think of it like using the word “hate”; there is never a reason to say best. Best to who? Well, in this case best to me, and who am I? I’m the guy that spent nearly a life researching Penne Alla Vodka and making, what is at the moment, the definitive last word on the dish.

Can you achieve complete knowledge about a subject? No, never. But as far as Penne Alla Vodka goes, I can claim expertice. I have the 10k hours. I did it for you.

So I’ve spent a life living in Penne Alla Vodka, and if you wanna know what I think, then I think the following recipe from Chef Jae Lee of NOWAN in the East Village is the best. The best because it has all familiar goodness you’re looking for in Penne Alla Vodka; the creaminess, the heat, the sweet and sour delight. It also surprises, ads a welcome twist, like finding that perfect accessory that makes your favorite outfit that much more fab.

So here’s the rub in 15 easy steps:

1. Start your salted water to boil, this goes quick.

2. Throw some olive oil in pan on medium heat.

3. Add a bit of Gochujang Korean chili paste.

4. A squeeze of Tomato Paste.

5. Chopped grape of garlic.

6. A few drops of sesame oil.

7. Lots of good fresh cracked black pepper.

8. Throw your pasta in.

9. Hit it with a shot or two of vodka.

10. Throw in one San Marzano tomato from a can. Crush it down in the pan with a fork until obliterated.

11. Hit it with cream until its dark pink.

12. Pasta should be a little harder then you want. Add a few tablespoons of the pasta water to the pan and start

13. mixing vigorously to emulsify the sauce.

14. Add the slighly under-cooked pasta to the pan, keep working the sauce until the pasta if cooked al’ dente.

15. Serve it up. Pecorino grated cheese is optional.

That’s it. Eat immediately starting with a shot of vodka and ending with a shot of vodka. If you don’t bookend with the vodka the dish is poisonous. #truth